Thursday, 27 July 2017

Food for thought.

different field/two weeks ago

How’s the Mue?

Great, thanks for asking. We’ve had a new donation.
the Mue/on the table outside under a stone

Really? I’m excited.

Here it is.                                      

Where will it be exhibited?

I thought it would look nice on the table outside the front door.

There’s a table outside the front door?

There is now.

You will need a stone on top of it to prevent it blowing away in the wind.

I have just such a stone, an unexpectedly donated stone no less.

May I see it?

It’s on the piece of paper, on the table, on the step outside the front door – you pass it directly on your way to the foyer.  

Unless you take the boat.

Unless you take the boat.

Tuesday, 25 July 2017

Summer Slumming.

a field/a festival/last saturday

What happened to the summer?

It’s slumming.

And you?

Taking it easy.

What’s the difference?

Slumming, I was doing that yesterday; today I’m taking it easy but actively.

Actively taking it easy or easily taking it active?

The latter. First stop, after this cup of hot lime-juice will be a run. The temperature is perfect.

The lime-juice is the perfect temperature?

Well it is as it so happens, but i was referring to the air temperature.

Have you noticed, by the way, that the grammar check isn’t at all happy with ‘lime-juice’? We’ve tried ‘lime juice’, ‘lime-juice’ and ‘limejuice’. It’s highlighted each as an error.

I could make a cup of tea.

You are not being serious.

If the summer can’t be, why should i?

Monday, 24 July 2017

A Lack of Daisies.

Winehouse Festival/Saturday.

Monday, fist day of the week, first day of the rest of your life….

You ok?

Feeling a bit turquoise.


Well, can’t honestly say blue, but I’ve certainly got a touch of the magentas this morning.

Could be the rain.

Could be, I don’t want to get up. I mean…

I know; I’m resisting.  What was it I read today, that quote from Pink Floyd? 

Hanging on in quiet desperation is the English way.”

That was it! I want some chocolate but I’ve only got 85 euro in the bank and I emptied the piggy bank yesterday just to buy some fruit.

Just! Fruit will get you through times of no chocolate better than chocolate will get you through times of no fruit.

Fat Freddy, again! You really like him.

Seminal influence. 

Is that the right word?


Seminal? It suddenly sounded rude.

Sounded? Are you saying this out loud?

Of course, how else would it read like a conversation?

No one DOES read it, I keep telling you.

Rivers does, she told me.

Talking of Rivers, she was in the market yesterday.

I know! Talking about sandals!

Did you have the same thought I did?

I did!

Rivers with daisies – if only she had bought those sandals, the world would be a different place.

That’s the problem.

The problem this morning?

Yes. The world should be a different place.

Hang on a minute – that should be you saying that not me, and I’m not sure it is; the Rivers interlude may have re-routed us. Oh, it WAS you, i got confused.

Let’s say the Rivers tributary may have confluenced us, it sounds more aquatic.

I think there should be an apostrophe on Rivers somewhere.

I do to, but then we would have to know our grammatical rule. And you know what?

Judging by the fact that it’s 12.46 and you are still in bed, I think I can.

I can’t.

Be assed?

The world needs more daisies.

Sunday, 23 July 2017

Shakin and a Rankin.

a field near here/yesterday

Were you the oldest person there?

No! The blind woman, dancing, was a year older.

Did you dance?

I got up and shaked about.


That too.

Got up? What were you doing before?

I was reading my book.

You were reading your book at a house music festival?

I had a game of babi-foot; that was pretty active.

Did you win?

Even-stevens; one game each.

What were you reading?

Knots and Crosses.



Saturday, 22 July 2017


the gallery/last week

I, and the thousands of readers that flock here daily searching for insight and
erudition are still waiting.

For what?

I’ve done it.

You’ve done it?

Of course. I did it on Tuesday. You know me, no sooner said than done.

Tuesday? Were you going to tell us?

I would have got round to it.

We’ve been on tender hooks.

Don’t you mean tent pegs?

No that’s my daughter, she’s going to Barcelona, she wants to sleep in the car and a tent.

A car AND a tent?

There’s five of them.

Whose car?


You’re letting your daughter take the car to Barcelona?

I’m hoping it will get stolen and the insurance will buy me a new one.


That’s it? Where’s the list?

Here. It’s a bit depressing. I laughed at first; then I got angry then depressed. Good luck.

Oh, ok. Any remedy?


Wine lovers face triple whammy Brexit price rise, says UK trade body.
Germany will ‘win the peace’ because of Brexit.
Welsh farming could be wiped out by Brexit, says union.
UK fishermen may not win ‘waters back’ after Brexit.
Fancy some sun, sea and sand? Brexit means it will cost you 15% more.
Almost half of highly skilled EU workers could leave UK within five years.
Ryanair ‘will have to halt UK flights’ if May does not agree deal.
Brexit may delay third runway, warns Heathrow chief.
Pret à Manger – just one in fifty job applicants is British, says HR chief.
UK nuclear power stations ‘could be forced to close’.
Pork pies and Stilton under Brexit threat, says Nick Clegg.
UK risks becoming ‘dumping ground’ for plastic.
UK firms face ‘avalanche of paperwork’ if Britain exits customs union.
Leaving EU so complex it could overwhelm politicians, warn senior academics.
Record number of EU nurses quit NHS after vote.
Brexit could make NHS shortage of nurses worse, says report.
Northern Ireland peace at risk, says Bertie Ahern.
Patients would have to wait years for new drugs – report.
Dozens of UK banks and financial firms ‘looking at moving to Ireland’.
Carmaker may produce electric Mini outside UK due to Brexit.
Vote wiped §1.5tn off UK household wealth in 2016, report says.
Replacing EU hospitality workers ‘will take 10 years’.
Concerns raised over Brexit impact on racing industry.
Scottish woman and French husband quit UK over Brexit.
Falkland Islands/Brexit could end Europe’s support for UK control, Argentina claims.
Britain’s energy supply is in jeopardy after Brexit, warn MPs.
Brexit ‘could heralds end to British fruit and veg sales.
Poll shows 60% of European doctors are considering leaving UK.
EU vote may be final straw for some couples, say lawyers.
Im EU citizens in Britain ‘could be at risk of deportation’.
Coffee chain blames UK profits plunge on Brexit.
EU fears influx of ‘British Champagne’.
‘Pay ten pounds to visit Europe’/ EU ministers to discuss plan to charge Britons.
UK tourists could face mobile phone roaming charges.
An EU-plot to sabotage the great British breakfast.
Fear of brain drain as EU nationals leave British universities.
Brexit will spell the end of British art as we know it.
Brexit negotiations might take 10 years – if we’re lucky.
Hard Brexit could mean hard luck for fry-up fans.
British strawberries could cost 50% more because of Brexit, Mps told.
Chocolate could get smaller after Brexit.

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